My Worst Cinema Experience!

Today I visited my local cinema to see The Avengers for the forth time and it was possibly the worst movie going experience I have ever had. There was no problem whatsoever with the film, in fact the film was absolutely astounding but unfortunately the crowd was not, it was filled with noisy eaters, annoying kids and heavy breathers.

The thing that I found the most irritating was the children, they were just downright rude and ignorant of other peoples enjoyment of the film. I was sat a row in front of a family of four with two children aged around 4-5 years and surprise surprise the female of the children started to get bored in a film that two hours twenty minutes in length. About halfway through the movie when the action of the first act had finished and the action from the last act was about to pick up the child began to become very restless, not only did she fidget lots she also began to do the most ignorant thing in the world, and began to quietly bang her feet on the floor loud enough for me and people surrounding her but not the whole screen. The child then began to talk to her dad, I didn’t give a shit what she was saying I just wanted her to keep her little gob shut. Now I know that she is a child and doesn’t really know that what she is doing is going to piss off everyone and that she does it just because of boredom. What pissed me off the most was that the parents did absolutely jack-shit. If you are going to take your children to the cinema you should ensure that they are going to behave themselves and if they don’t then it is your job to put them back in line. If this was my first viewing of this movie then I would have been even more pissed off that this child had taken all of the enjoyment out of the film. So next time you plan on taking your children to a movie screening make sure they behave themselves.

Young children weren’t the only kids in the cinema that got me royally pissed off there were also a group of what I can safely guess were young teenagers, but they are definitely the biggest dickheads in the world. Teens wonder why society hates them, well here is your answer. If you sit at the back of the screen making loud noises to try and impress the girls you are with then you will obviously make a few enemies. I know that at their age impressing girls is all they try and do but that is no reason to be such a prick about it, if I was girl I would not be impressed with a dick at the back of a cinema making annoying noises in an attempt to piss off the whole screen. I have decided that from now on I am only going to be going to over 18 screenings only and that way you won’t get any of these childish cretins in the cinema.

To add on my already pissed off mood the person sat next to me was possibly the loudest breather in the world, I could tell he wasn’t ill he was just incredibly noisy. It wasn’t too bad in the action scenes as the loud sound effects obviously overpowered his loud exhaling, but when it came to the quieter scenes all I could hear was his breathing, the child in front of me fidgeting and then teenagers at the back either talking or giggling to themselves and the noisy eater sat behind me.

Now there are very few things that are more annoying than a heavy breather but one of those things is a loud eater. I understand that some people can’t help it but if you know you are a noisy eater why in the world would you buy a large popcorn and a fizzy drink for an experience where you are supposed to be as quiet as possible. I first noticed the noise during the adverts as he was stuffing popcorn down his throat chopping as loud as possible, I thought to myself that it will stop in a minute, most people finish their popcorn before the film starts anyway, happily it did stop. What didn’t stop though was the extremely loud slurping noise he made every time he took a sip of his drink. Every five minutes through the film he took another sip making me extremely angered.

All of these experiences mixed together made me very angry, so angry in fact that with about thirty minutes before the film finished I walked out of the screen over to the checkout and demanded a refund. Luckily the woman behind the counter was extremely pleasant about the whole thing and she issued me a refund and apologised about twenty times.


Why No ‘Midnight In Paris’ Blu-Ray?

I know this rant will only apply to my UK readers but I thought it was important for you all to hear about this. As many of you may know Midnight In Paris has not been released on Blu-ray in the UK. I have no idea why but it takes the piss, as many of you may know Midnight In Paris was one of my favourite movies of 2011, I absolutely loved every second of it. A majority, if not all of new releases get released on both DVD and Blu-ray in the UK these days and Midnight In Paris is the first new release film that I have wanted to buy that isn’t available on Blu-ray.

Now I am one of those people who no longer buy DVD’s just for the simple fact that Blu-rays are superior, they have a greatly improved picture quality with crystal clear HD surround sound. So every film that I want to buy I buy it on Blu-ray and try to avoid DVD’s where possible. The thing that has annoyed me about Midnight In Paris not being released on Blu-ray in the UK is that it has been released everywhere else in both DVD and Blu-ray but not the UK, what the fuck its up with that? It’s not as though Woody Allen didn’t want Midnight In Paris to be released on Blu-ray or that Sony Pictures Classic thought that the quality difference between Blu-ray and DVD wasn’t worth both formats being released.

Two UK stores, HMV and Blockbuster both advertised the Midnight In Paris Blu-ray set for the same release date as the DVD, but you know what? The Blu-ray never got released. There are no signs or indications that the Blu-ray will be released any time so which seriously angers me. I seriously want to own this film but I am not going to buy it on DVD because knowing my luck I will buy the DVD and then a few weeks later the Blu-ray would come out.

Come on Sony Pictures Classic what is your problem with us Brits? Why do the rest of the world get the Blu-ray version of Midnight In Paris and not us? Please Sony Pictures enlighten me what you are such dicks and just don’t release it?