My Worst Cinema Experience!

Today I visited my local cinema to see The Avengers for the forth time and it was possibly the worst movie going experience I have ever had. There was no problem whatsoever with the film, in fact the film was absolutely astounding but unfortunately the crowd was not, it was filled with noisy eaters, annoying kids and heavy breathers.

The thing that I found the most irritating was the children, they were just downright rude and ignorant of other peoples enjoyment of the film. I was sat a row in front of a family of four with two children aged around 4-5 years and surprise surprise the female of the children started to get bored in a film that two hours twenty minutes in length. About halfway through the movie when the action of the first act had finished and the action from the last act was about to pick up the child began to become very restless, not only did she fidget lots she also began to do the most ignorant thing in the world, and began to quietly bang her feet on the floor loud enough for me and people surrounding her but not the whole screen. The child then began to talk to her dad, I didn’t give a shit what she was saying I just wanted her to keep her little gob shut. Now I know that she is a child and doesn’t really know that what she is doing is going to piss off everyone and that she does it just because of boredom. What pissed me off the most was that the parents did absolutely jack-shit. If you are going to take your children to the cinema you should ensure that they are going to behave themselves and if they don’t then it is your job to put them back in line. If this was my first viewing of this movie then I would have been even more pissed off that this child had taken all of the enjoyment out of the film. So next time you plan on taking your children to a movie screening make sure they behave themselves.

Young children weren’t the only kids in the cinema that got me royally pissed off there were also a group of what I can safely guess were young teenagers, but they are definitely the biggest dickheads in the world. Teens wonder why society hates them, well here is your answer. If you sit at the back of the screen making loud noises to try and impress the girls you are with then you will obviously make a few enemies. I know that at their age impressing girls is all they try and do but that is no reason to be such a prick about it, if I was girl I would not be impressed with a dick at the back of a cinema making annoying noises in an attempt to piss off the whole screen. I have decided that from now on I am only going to be going to over 18 screenings only and that way you won’t get any of these childish cretins in the cinema.

To add on my already pissed off mood the person sat next to me was possibly the loudest breather in the world, I could tell he wasn’t ill he was just incredibly noisy. It wasn’t too bad in the action scenes as the loud sound effects obviously overpowered his loud exhaling, but when it came to the quieter scenes all I could hear was his breathing, the child in front of me fidgeting and then teenagers at the back either talking or giggling to themselves and the noisy eater sat behind me.

Now there are very few things that are more annoying than a heavy breather but one of those things is a loud eater. I understand that some people can’t help it but if you know you are a noisy eater why in the world would you buy a large popcorn and a fizzy drink for an experience where you are supposed to be as quiet as possible. I first noticed the noise during the adverts as he was stuffing popcorn down his throat chopping as loud as possible, I thought to myself that it will stop in a minute, most people finish their popcorn before the film starts anyway, happily it did stop. What didn’t stop though was the extremely loud slurping noise he made every time he took a sip of his drink. Every five minutes through the film he took another sip making me extremely angered.

All of these experiences mixed together made me very angry, so angry in fact that with about thirty minutes before the film finished I walked out of the screen over to the checkout and demanded a refund. Luckily the woman behind the counter was extremely pleasant about the whole thing and she issued me a refund and apologised about twenty times.

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Why I Hate 3D!

These days everything seems to be released in 3D and I just don’t understand why. As you can tell from the title of this post I am in the camp of people who are against having the third dimension taking over cinema. Let me start off by saying I am someone who can perfectly watch 3D so that isn’t a reason why I personally hate it.

This isn’t the first time that 3D in movies has taken off, the first time 3D became a success was in 1952, yes it was that long ago, this craze for 3D began to wither away by September 1953 due to many reasons, mainly due to the complex task of having to project two images at once. As soon as December 1953 3D was back in our cinemas with all new projectors making it easier for the film to be projected, in this wave of 3D even the great Alfred Hitchcock released a 3D picture but that didn’t stop 3D from wilting out by early 1955. But 3D wasn’t done there a handful of films were released in 3D between 1960 and 2003, where 3D made its long awaited comeback. We now have extremely advanced technology making the production and viewing of 3D easier than ever so why not bring it back.

In the past I have enjoyed the occasional 3D but it has now got to the stage where everything is being thrown out with many of them being post converted making them look even worse than if they were shot with three dimensional cameras. Avatar was actually the first feature length movie I ever saw in the third dimension and I absolutely loved it, the 3D was extremely subtle and was just there to deeply engross you into the film and you know what it really worked. I thought to myself after seeing it, that if all 3D movies are going to be like this then I can really see it taking off, but I knew that wouldn’t happen though, I knew Hollywood would do their best to shove 3D down our throats until we got sick of.

The biggest downside to 3D has to be the expense, the cost of my cinema ticket goes up by a whopping £1.95 just for some glasses that make everyone look stupid and fall off the bridge of my nose. The other day I went to the cinema to see The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists and there wasn’t an option to see it in 2D so I had to pay extra to go and see it in a dimension that I didn’t want to. I thought to myself what the hell it might be great 3D, it wasn’t, it added absolutely nothing to the movie so I left the movie pissed off having spent £1.95 on something I didn’t want to. I don’t have a huge problem with 3D in the cinema because it can actually benefit some films, admittedly very few.

In 1896 they didn’t even dream about 3D, when audiences were shown the first ever motion picture – The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station – they all moved back, with some screaming and fainting because they believed the train was actually coming towards them. Nowadays we get every 3D film trying to mimic that by throwing things out us, but you know what? Surprisingly (sarcasm) the novelty has worn off and we don’t want arrows firing through the screen at us every five seconds.

The one thing that I am pissed off about is the amount of 3D rereleases that are coming out, I can actually see the movie industry coming to an end very soon as they clearly have no original ideas and are just rereleasing, rebooting and remaking every movie they can. I really don’t see the point of films being rereleased in 3D, I have never thought to myself damn I wish Star Wars was in 3D. No-one has thought that because no-one wants it, they are phenomenal films (the originals) in 2D so we don’t need a third dimension. I never really thought we needed 3D, IMAX is the most engrossing experience I have ever witnessed and has trumped every 3D movie I have seen so I reckon we should all just root for IMAX instead of 3D.

3D in the cinema is nowhere near as bad as the attempts at 3D in the home. I don’t own a 3D TV at home, I have refused to spend over a grand just so I can watch the occasional movie in 3D. All the reasonably priced 3D TVs I have tried out all experience something called ghosting which is where you begin to see double in some scenes, now to me this is a fault and is proof that the technology isn’t perfect yet they still sell these TVs. I don’t want to spend however much on a TV that has a major fault every time I watch a film in third dimension. I know that all modern TVs that are being bought out now come with 3D equipped as standard and I know the next TV I buy will have it but that doesn’t mean I will use it.

I have decided that when Christopher Nolan finally makes his first 3D movie I will join the bandwagon and accept that 3D is the future but until that happens I hate it. What are your thoughts on the third dimensions? Do you think its really going to take off this time? Or can you see it withering away like another fad? Please tell me your thoughts in the comments below, I am really interested to hear what other people think. Thank you very much for reading, if you enjoyed this most please feel free to hit that like and follow button.

‘Detachment’ – Movie Review

Detachment is a movie that centres on a substitute teacher who moves from class to class finally finding a connection with teachers and students in his latest school. Detachment stars Adrien Brody as the substitute teacher, Henry Barthes. Detachment reminds us all that indie films can still be absolutely astonishing. This isn’t the first movie that depicts the failings and horrors of the American education system but it is really one of the greatest I have seen. Detachment comes from director Tony Kaye the same filmmaker who bought us the phenomenally emotional movie centring on serious issues of race, American History X. When I first saw the trailer for this movie I was desperate to see it and now I finally have I can safely say it is worth every minute of your time.

The performances in this movie is where it really shines, Adrien Brody is absolutely breathtaking giving one of his finest and most powerful performances ever. You can really tell that he is putting his heart and sole into this role and it reiterates to us why he won an Oscar as this is another Oscar worthy performance on his behalf. Brody isn’t the only one that shines in this film, James Caan offers a occasionally comedic but in the end dark performance of a permanent teacher at what seems to be the worst school in America. But the number of big names in this films makes it feel more like a cameo-fest than a film filled with great actors.

The direction of this film is also beautiful, making the film look extremely stylish with flashback shots in a dark sepia toned picture showing us Henry’s puzzled past. Tony Kaye gives us all an extremely dark look into what school is really like these days and that leads to an intense roller coaster that many people aren’t ready to ride but trust me it is seriously worth it.

The relationship between Henry Barthes and the 15 year-old prostitute Eric whom he is trying to save from slipping further into the dark side of life is miraculous which becomes extremely rocky at times making for some of the films most dramatic moments.

Detachment is a very dark and powerful film that takes a lot out of you when watching it, I have so much love for this movie that I don’t know how to put into words but it really is the greatest film I have seen this year and you can expect to see it on my top movies of 2012 list at the end of the year. Detachment is a seriously thoughtful movie that will make you think about how important and delicate life really is.

9/10

‘Neighbourhood Watch’ Teaser Trailer

A teaser trailer has been released for the upcoming Seth Rogen written movie Neighbourhood Watch. It centres on a group of suburban dads that form a neighbourhood watch group in order to get some free time away from their families, which leads them to discover a plan to destroy the earth. Neighbourhood Watch stars Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill, Vince Vaughn and Richard Ayoade, they are all extremely funny guys and I can’t wait to see them take on their roles. The premise of this film seems pretty poor but I am just going to watch it just to see Richard Ayoade because I love him. Neighbourhood Watch hits theatres on 27th July (USA) and 22nd August (UK) and you can check out the teaser trailer below.

What do you think? Are you excited? Feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments below. Thank you very much for reading and if you enjoyed this post please hit that like and follow buttons to show me some love.

New Avengers Trailer!

A new trailer has been released online of Joss Whedon’s upcoming superhero movie, The Avengers. The Avengers plot goes something like this, Nick Fury and the international agency S.H.I.E.L.D. bring together a team of super humans to form The Avengers to help save the Earth from Loki & his various membered army (Courtesy of IMDB). The Avengers sees Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Cobie Smulders and Scarlett Johansson coming together to fight the evil force Loki played by Tom Hiddleston. The Avengers hits theatres on 27th April (UK) and 4th May (USA) and you can check out the new trailer below.

Looks so awesome right? I’m just afraid that they might be showing us a little bit too much, but we will have to wait and see. What do you think? Feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks again for reading and if you liked this post please feel free to hit that follow and like button to show me some love.

‘The Avengers’ Gets A New Name & Poster!

The upcoming Joss Whedon movie The Avengers has decided to have a name change to the not so brilliant Avengers Assemble, I think this change in title is only for the UK but I am not sure at this moment in time. Avengers Assemble’s plot goes something like this, Nick Fury and the international agency S.H.I.E.L.D. bring together a team of super humans to form The Avengers to help save the Earth from Loki & his various membered army (Courtesy of IMDB). Avengers Assemble sees Robert Downey Jr, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Cobie Smulders and Scarlett Johansson coming together to fight the evil force Loki played by Tom Hiddleston. Avengers Assemble hits theatres on 27th April (UK) and 4th May (USA) and you can check out the new poster below.

What do you think of the name change? Feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks again for reading and if you enjoyed this post please feel free to hit that like and follow button.

New ‘Brave’ Poster

A new poster for the upcoming Pixar movie, Brave has been released online today. Brave centres on Princess Merida who must fight to undo a beastly curse that has been cursed upon her people. Brave has the voices of Emma Thompson, Kelly MacDonald, Billy Connolly and Julie Walters. I can’t wait for this movie, it looks like Pixar are taking a much more dark and twisted take with this movie and I like it. Brave will be hitting theatres on 22nd June (USA) and 13th August (UK), I don’t really understand why Pixar have made such a huge gap between the USA and UK release so now I will be waiting two months longer than half of you lot. Anyway you can check out the image below and a trailer will be released tomorrow, so check back then.

What do you think of Pixar’s new direction with this film? Feel free to tell me all your thoughts in the comments below. Thank you very much for reading and if you enjoyed this post please feel free to hit that follow and like button to show me some love.