My Worst Cinema Experience!

Today I visited my local cinema to see The Avengers for the forth time and it was possibly the worst movie going experience I have ever had. There was no problem whatsoever with the film, in fact the film was absolutely astounding but unfortunately the crowd was not, it was filled with noisy eaters, annoying kids and heavy breathers.

The thing that I found the most irritating was the children, they were just downright rude and ignorant of other peoples enjoyment of the film. I was sat a row in front of a family of four with two children aged around 4-5 years and surprise surprise the female of the children started to get bored in a film that two hours twenty minutes in length. About halfway through the movie when the action of the first act had finished and the action from the last act was about to pick up the child began to become very restless, not only did she fidget lots she also began to do the most ignorant thing in the world, and began to quietly bang her feet on the floor loud enough for me and people surrounding her but not the whole screen. The child then began to talk to her dad, I didn’t give a shit what she was saying I just wanted her to keep her little gob shut. Now I know that she is a child and doesn’t really know that what she is doing is going to piss off everyone and that she does it just because of boredom. What pissed me off the most was that the parents did absolutely jack-shit. If you are going to take your children to the cinema you should ensure that they are going to behave themselves and if they don’t then it is your job to put them back in line. If this was my first viewing of this movie then I would have been even more pissed off that this child had taken all of the enjoyment out of the film. So next time you plan on taking your children to a movie screening make sure they behave themselves.

Young children weren’t the only kids in the cinema that got me royally pissed off there were also a group of what I can safely guess were young teenagers, but they are definitely the biggest dickheads in the world. Teens wonder why society hates them, well here is your answer. If you sit at the back of the screen making loud noises to try and impress the girls you are with then you will obviously make a few enemies. I know that at their age impressing girls is all they try and do but that is no reason to be such a prick about it, if I was girl I would not be impressed with a dick at the back of a cinema making annoying noises in an attempt to piss off the whole screen. I have decided that from now on I am only going to be going to over 18 screenings only and that way you won’t get any of these childish cretins in the cinema.

To add on my already pissed off mood the person sat next to me was possibly the loudest breather in the world, I could tell he wasn’t ill he was just incredibly noisy. It wasn’t too bad in the action scenes as the loud sound effects obviously overpowered his loud exhaling, but when it came to the quieter scenes all I could hear was his breathing, the child in front of me fidgeting and then teenagers at the back either talking or giggling to themselves and the noisy eater sat behind me.

Now there are very few things that are more annoying than a heavy breather but one of those things is a loud eater. I understand that some people can’t help it but if you know you are a noisy eater why in the world would you buy a large popcorn and a fizzy drink for an experience where you are supposed to be as quiet as possible. I first noticed the noise during the adverts as he was stuffing popcorn down his throat chopping as loud as possible, I thought to myself that it will stop in a minute, most people finish their popcorn before the film starts anyway, happily it did stop. What didn’t stop though was the extremely loud slurping noise he made every time he took a sip of his drink. Every five minutes through the film he took another sip making me extremely angered.

All of these experiences mixed together made me very angry, so angry in fact that with about thirty minutes before the film finished I walked out of the screen over to the checkout and demanded a refund. Luckily the woman behind the counter was extremely pleasant about the whole thing and she issued me a refund and apologised about twenty times.

Why I Hate 3D!

These days everything seems to be released in 3D and I just don’t understand why. As you can tell from the title of this post I am in the camp of people who are against having the third dimension taking over cinema. Let me start off by saying I am someone who can perfectly watch 3D so that isn’t a reason why I personally hate it.

This isn’t the first time that 3D in movies has taken off, the first time 3D became a success was in 1952, yes it was that long ago, this craze for 3D began to wither away by September 1953 due to many reasons, mainly due to the complex task of having to project two images at once. As soon as December 1953 3D was back in our cinemas with all new projectors making it easier for the film to be projected, in this wave of 3D even the great Alfred Hitchcock released a 3D picture but that didn’t stop 3D from wilting out by early 1955. But 3D wasn’t done there a handful of films were released in 3D between 1960 and 2003, where 3D made its long awaited comeback. We now have extremely advanced technology making the production and viewing of 3D easier than ever so why not bring it back.

In the past I have enjoyed the occasional 3D but it has now got to the stage where everything is being thrown out with many of them being post converted making them look even worse than if they were shot with three dimensional cameras. Avatar was actually the first feature length movie I ever saw in the third dimension and I absolutely loved it, the 3D was extremely subtle and was just there to deeply engross you into the film and you know what it really worked. I thought to myself after seeing it, that if all 3D movies are going to be like this then I can really see it taking off, but I knew that wouldn’t happen though, I knew Hollywood would do their best to shove 3D down our throats until we got sick of.

The biggest downside to 3D has to be the expense, the cost of my cinema ticket goes up by a whopping £1.95 just for some glasses that make everyone look stupid and fall off the bridge of my nose. The other day I went to the cinema to see The Pirates! In An Adventure With Scientists and there wasn’t an option to see it in 2D so I had to pay extra to go and see it in a dimension that I didn’t want to. I thought to myself what the hell it might be great 3D, it wasn’t, it added absolutely nothing to the movie so I left the movie pissed off having spent £1.95 on something I didn’t want to. I don’t have a huge problem with 3D in the cinema because it can actually benefit some films, admittedly very few.

In 1896 they didn’t even dream about 3D, when audiences were shown the first ever motion picture – The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station – they all moved back, with some screaming and fainting because they believed the train was actually coming towards them. Nowadays we get every 3D film trying to mimic that by throwing things out us, but you know what? Surprisingly (sarcasm) the novelty has worn off and we don’t want arrows firing through the screen at us every five seconds.

The one thing that I am pissed off about is the amount of 3D rereleases that are coming out, I can actually see the movie industry coming to an end very soon as they clearly have no original ideas and are just rereleasing, rebooting and remaking every movie they can. I really don’t see the point of films being rereleased in 3D, I have never thought to myself damn I wish Star Wars was in 3D. No-one has thought that because no-one wants it, they are phenomenal films (the originals) in 2D so we don’t need a third dimension. I never really thought we needed 3D, IMAX is the most engrossing experience I have ever witnessed and has trumped every 3D movie I have seen so I reckon we should all just root for IMAX instead of 3D.

3D in the cinema is nowhere near as bad as the attempts at 3D in the home. I don’t own a 3D TV at home, I have refused to spend over a grand just so I can watch the occasional movie in 3D. All the reasonably priced 3D TVs I have tried out all experience something called ghosting which is where you begin to see double in some scenes, now to me this is a fault and is proof that the technology isn’t perfect yet they still sell these TVs. I don’t want to spend however much on a TV that has a major fault every time I watch a film in third dimension. I know that all modern TVs that are being bought out now come with 3D equipped as standard and I know the next TV I buy will have it but that doesn’t mean I will use it.

I have decided that when Christopher Nolan finally makes his first 3D movie I will join the bandwagon and accept that 3D is the future but until that happens I hate it. What are your thoughts on the third dimensions? Do you think its really going to take off this time? Or can you see it withering away like another fad? Please tell me your thoughts in the comments below, I am really interested to hear what other people think. Thank you very much for reading, if you enjoyed this most please feel free to hit that like and follow button.

Why So Many Sequels And Remakes?

This is a little rant that is little overdue. Why Hollywood do you feel the need to constantly spew out remakes and sequels till your heart contents? I know that remakes and sequels have been done for years but recently it has felt as though we have been completely overwhelmed by this overload of sequels and remakes. Now that Oscar season is long gone we should expect to see lots more of these pieces of garbage that will mount up a monstrous pile of cash.

Hollywood are making these sequels and remakes for one simple reason, they make lots and lots of money. It seems as though Hollywood have given up on making great films and all their focus is on how much money they will make. Three films last year became part of the ten highest grossing movies of all time, all three of those movies were sequels. Fair enough the highest of the three was Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 which is a book adaptation and is the final in a long line of films so I don’t have anything against that movie. The other two I do have problems with, first off Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides is the fourth instalment in the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise. This is one of those franchises that released another movie just for the simple fact of scrapping in as much money as possible; in the third Pirates Of The Caribbean film it came to a climactic end of what everyone thought was the trilogy. But because two out of the three Pirates Of The Caribbean films made the top 50 highest grossing movies of all time, Hollywood thought it would be a great idea to release a fourth film into a franchise that everyone thought was over. Finally Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, which is the third in the franchise of Transformers movies. Everyone knows that these films are extremely poor and are just made to make money and give viewing pleasure to people who like explosions. I understand that the third was going to be the last film that Michael Bay was going to direct, but wait, what is it now? Michael Bay is returning to direct a FOURTH Transformers movie. Why? Three were bad enough we don’t need even more.

I wouldn’t mind all these sequels and remakes if they were actually decent, for example this year The Dark Knight Rises is being released which is a sequel to the last Christopher Nolan Batman movie. Everyone knows that this film will be great and this is a sequel that people want to see. Admittedly some sequels are necessary, for example, Lord Of The Rings, they were all adapted from a book and they stuck to the amount of the books and didn’t add anymore unnecessary movies, they are also amazing films and people actually wanted the sequels, but what seems to be the case these days is that the people don’t want any of these sequels and remakes.

Remakes on the other hand I very rarely find a good one, the most recent remake I can think of is Straw Dogs which was a completely needless and painful remake that never should have been funded. There has been some shocking news recently that Alfred Hitchcock’s Suspicion is planning to get remade, now tell me why would anyone want to do that? This film is a classic for a reason, it is made by one of the greatest directors of all time and a film like that should be cherished as classic movie making and not be remade because stupid people don’t like old films and want to watch it in colour. There are some films that should NEVER EVER be remade and this is one of them.

If you think that we have seen too many sequels and remakes we have much more to come this year and the years to come. Recently they have decided they are going to do EVEN more Fast And Furious films, I maybe a bit bias when it comes to this franchise seeing I hate all the films. Anyway I feel as though they have made way to many of these films and really need to move on and make something else. They have decided that they want to do up to seven Fast And Furious film, why? They are all the same, just more films with needless violence and no depth of character or storyline.

I think the problem is though is that the big Hollywood companies can’t think of any new ideas, a lot of the best films last year came from independent companies that have creative and brilliant minds behind their films and thats exactly what Hollywood don’t have. I can just see Hollywood completely overstepping the mark and deciding to remake such a classic cult movie like Taxi Driver which would be an absolutely absurd idea and if anyone ever decides that they will remake it they deserve to be shot. Below is my list of films/franchises that should NEVER EVER be remade or get sequels.

Please No Remakes

Harry Potter – I along with many other people absolutely love this franchise and if I ever saw it get remade I would not be a happy person. This is one of those franchises that would not be the same and would be no where near as good. The only problem with the Harry Potter series is the acting but that isn’t a good enough reason for Hollywood to think it should be remade. I was young when Harry Potter was first released and I have grown up with these films and they have become my childhood and if that were to get remade in twenty odd years it would leave me feeling a bit pissed off, so please don’t even think of a remake.

Back To The Future – Even though I wasn’t brought up in the 80’s I still grew up with these films, since Iwas really young me and my dad watched these films all the time and it was these films that made me fall in love with movies and if they were to remake this trilogy just like the Harry Potter franchise I would not be happy one bit. It would also be an extremely big struggle to remake this film as we are  living in the future that this film is set in, so I hope on that basis Hollywood think it can’t be remade and should never even think about it.

Taxi Driver – I only recently saw Taxi Driver for the first time a few weeks ago and absolutely loved it which is surprising seeing I wasn’t brought up around the time the film was released or set and I struggle to see how people would love this film if it was released now. I also couldn’t imagine this movie being directed by anyone that isn’t Martin Scorsese, or starring anyone who isn’t Robert De Niro and Jodie Foster. I know Hollywood aren’t even stupid enough to remake this cult classic.

Fight Club – Another cult classic on my list that shouldn’t be touched under any circumstances. Fight Club is such a 90’s movie that wouldn’t really fit or make sense in any other generation, hopefully that will be enough to keep Hollywood away. With Fight Club being one of mine along with many others favourite film of all time it would be a huge disappointment if this one got remade, along with the rest of the films on this list, the remake could not surpass the original let alone live up to it.

Psycho – This is the greatest horror movies of all time, I’m not a huge horror fan, I hate most of them but this is one of, if not the best I have ever seen and it is another one of Hitchcock’s classics that should most certainly not be remade. This is a classic black and white horror that when remade wouldn’t seem at all scary in the modern day but it’s the fact that it’s a classic that makes this one of the greatest pieces of cinema ever.

I just hope that Hollywood think that all these films are such classics that they would never ever think of remaking them.

I would just like to say I’m sorry for my absence for the last few days I have been seriously preoccupied with work that I got behind on but don’t worry I’m back. Thank you for reading this post and I hope you agree with the excess of these sequels but you can tell me your thoughts in the comments below. If you enjoyed this post please feel free to hit that like and follow button to show me some love.

Why No ‘Midnight In Paris’ Blu-Ray?

I know this rant will only apply to my UK readers but I thought it was important for you all to hear about this. As many of you may know Midnight In Paris has not been released on Blu-ray in the UK. I have no idea why but it takes the piss, as many of you may know Midnight In Paris was one of my favourite movies of 2011, I absolutely loved every second of it. A majority, if not all of new releases get released on both DVD and Blu-ray in the UK these days and Midnight In Paris is the first new release film that I have wanted to buy that isn’t available on Blu-ray.

Now I am one of those people who no longer buy DVD’s just for the simple fact that Blu-rays are superior, they have a greatly improved picture quality with crystal clear HD surround sound. So every film that I want to buy I buy it on Blu-ray and try to avoid DVD’s where possible. The thing that has annoyed me about Midnight In Paris not being released on Blu-ray in the UK is that it has been released everywhere else in both DVD and Blu-ray but not the UK, what the fuck its up with that? It’s not as though Woody Allen didn’t want Midnight In Paris to be released on Blu-ray or that Sony Pictures Classic thought that the quality difference between Blu-ray and DVD wasn’t worth both formats being released.

Two UK stores, HMV and Blockbuster both advertised the Midnight In Paris Blu-ray set for the same release date as the DVD, but you know what? The Blu-ray never got released. There are no signs or indications that the Blu-ray will be released any time so which seriously angers me. I seriously want to own this film but I am not going to buy it on DVD because knowing my luck I will buy the DVD and then a few weeks later the Blu-ray would come out.

Come on Sony Pictures Classic what is your problem with us Brits? Why do the rest of the world get the Blu-ray version of Midnight In Paris and not us? Please Sony Pictures enlighten me what you are such dicks and just don’t release it?

Oscar Snubs Of 2012 Rant

The Oscars, the most esteemed movie awards ceremony of the year. It is usually the Golden Globes that provides the biggest snubs and gives nominations away to movies that don’t even deserve it. Every year there are typically a few films and actors that get snubbed by the Oscars but this year it is ridiculous.

The biggest snub of the year has to be Drive, I mean come on, it has been given one nomination and that is for Sound Editing. What the fuck Academy, care toexplain to me why Transformers: Dark Of The Moon has been given more nominations that Drive. Now Drive was my second favourite film of 2011 and I understand some people didn’t like it and thought the violence was a bit over the top; but the Academy isn’t just one person, it is a collection of people, not everyone there could have hated Drive enough to give it ONE nomination. There are many awards Drive got snubbed for, the first one being the most obvious, Best Picture, now this is where I start to get a little raged. Here is what I don’t understand, how in the world could Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close or as I like to call it Extremely Pretentious And Incredibly Shit get nominated over Drive? Answer me that Academy, is it because it is centred around 9/11? Or is it just because you hate great movies? I hated Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close and I don’t understand how anyone could enjoy it; it got completely crucified by reviewers and I did not expect this movie to even get mentioned at the Oscars, boy was I wrong. Another category that Drive got fucked on was of course directing, this category also baffles me; how could the direction of Tree Of Life be better than that of Drive? Drive was shot beautifully by Nicolas Winding Refn and he really needs some sort of recognition, yet this year he got absolutely jack shit from the Academy, the Hollywood Foreign Press and BAFTA. It just puzzles me how Drive can miss out on so many awards, it was loved by critics and there were so many critics and reviewers that put it as number one in their top films of 2011. Drive is a mile better than Tree Of Life and Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close and the Academy should feel ashamed that they have nominated these films over Drive. The final category that Drive got largely snubbed by is Best Supporting Actor, Albert Brooks as Bernie Rose who was by far the best actor in the whole film and was completely snubbed of any recognition by the Academy. After last years snubbing of Inception followed by this years snubbing of Drive it has really made me lose faith in the Academy as they clearly aren’t a good enough judge of films.

Now onto War Horse, yes War Horse has received six nominations this year but it hasn’t been nominated for the one I think it is most deserving, Best Director. War Horse was filmed beautifully by the astonishing Steven Spielberg who very rarely does anything wrong and that doesn’t change here. Steven Spielberg should have most defiantly received a nomination here, especially over the extremely overrated Tree Of Life. But then again it really doesn’t matter who gets nominated for any of these awards we all know The Artist will just win them all.

The big thing I don’t understand is why hasn’t 50/50 received any nominations, it didn’t receive any at the BAFTA’s either and only getting a few at the Golden Globes. 50/50 was my favourite movie of 2011 and it was loved my so many critics and viewers yet it has got less nominations that Drive at the Oscars. I understand that the Academy wouldn’t want to nominate 50/50 as Best Picture as it isn’t of a “high enough class” for the wankers in the Academy. It could have been nominated for so much more, I think the nominations that 50/50 deserves the most is Best Original Screenplay, written from a true story it is filled with humour and sadness that has been beautifully written by the man who is behind the story, Will Reiser. The second nomination that the stupid Academy didn’t nominate 50/50 for is Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Best Actor, this has been his best performance of his astounding career and he really deserves some recognition for that. Then again no-one will win in the category for Best Actor as everyone knows the award will be taken home by Jean Durjardin. 

There are a few nominations that I am very pleased with such as: Gary Oldman for Best Actor in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, War Horse for Best Picture, Nick Nolte for Best Supporting Actor in Warrior, Rooney Mara for Best Actress in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Melissa McCarthy for Best Supporting Actress in Bridesmaids and Midnight In Paris for Best Picture.

I do feel as though this has been a poor year for Oscar nominations and as for the winners we all know that the overrated Artist will take virtually everything it is nominated for. I hope I’m not the only one but I hate it when one film takes home the majority of the awards, even if I love that film I still hate it when they all go to one production.

Anyway that is my rant over, I managed to keep the foul language to a minimum even though I was fuming as writing it. What do you think of this years Oscar nominations? Are you happy with them all? What are you pissed off about getting snubbed? Feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments below. Thanks for reading. If you like this post please click that follow button to keep up to date with all the movie news and reviews.